First meal prep for the week since I lost my soulmate almost three months ago

Almost three months ago, my eldest cat, my soulmate, my child, my other half, died unexpectedly after waking up from an operation. I couldn't even say goodbye. Since then, eating has been and is still a struggle, but today I forced myself to prepare my meals for the week just as I’ve done for years. I’m still a mess, I still cry for my son every day and I still feel guilty when I eat, but at least these next few days I’ll have food already prepared and I’ll try to force myself to eat properly and not go to bed without having eaten or having eaten just junk food